Edition38 - Dire Straits
Well once again here we are writing up a show/lash up report for what is for me the true season closer. The cars are always immense, the beer always flows and project rave tent is always in full swing.. “tonight Matthew I’m gonna be - if you’ve seen the vid, you’ll know!
Meeting up for the usual casual smooth ride there, it was as usual far from smooth, I love throttle cables. “We’ll meet you at tesco’s Trev!, be there in 20 mins”. 2.5hours later, loads of lostness and Danny inheriting 21 points for running 7 lights we finally arrived. You’d think that was bad enough but the dilemmas didn’t stop there…
First off, a somewhat regular occurrence these days, the rallye losing all power due to a duff throttle cable link up (Gotta love zip ties Trev!). Then poor Trev’s car was running at about 400C in the traffic and to add insult to injury, poor Trev got pulled by the local fuzz for running illegal plates and getting a 30 quid fine for the pleasure and to top it all off the old beast drank about 30 litres of a G12 and Perrier cocktail for the remaining leg. All fixed for a lady godiver in the form of a good 3rd hand fan from the auto jumble. The problems for poor Trev didn’t stop there either, but more of that later.
Luckily the weather was tops on the Friday so camp Port was formed and the drinking pursued (unless you were Danny and Cashman with your magic plants and a good chilled out evening was had by all, followed by a nice bit of Currywurst sold by some random Slovakian bloke. A brief wander around to see some of the show cars, the usual tear jerking high standard and we went off to the beer tent for a bit of a dance and a Wentwood forrest style rave video action. I guess you had to be there but the video is hilarious.
Saturday for me all seems a bit of a drunken blur followed by Goat curry, rice & pea from a very nice chilled out gang of people, so this is where I let Ewan cut in and tell you about the high quality of Saturday cars that were apparently there…
Gaz Trev, I was half cut myself after a few impromptu ‘Nags’ of poor Trev’s Cola Cube flavored vodka home brew. I should have read the small print on the label.. oh don’t get me wrong here.. it was lovely stuff! But my lips are still stuck together to this very day!! I went for a haircut the other day and after Melissa (fantastic double D neck rub) had finished trimming my fringe, I opened my eyes to a 2” goatie! Christ Trev.. you should sell that shit to Nasa!
Ok the cars, I don’t really follow who owns what or how many medals some 30 grand R36 Mk2 conversion had won, but each to their own, and to be perfectly honest I’d do exactly the same if I had the same connections and wedge as half the show car clientele. One thing is certain, everyone’s got a bloody Mk1 Golf project in some stage of restoration these days. Always the show stoppers with ultra rare one off split rims and spanking new interior leathering, rat or trolley dolly, they’re all mint.
Now after a bad year owning one, I think all Mk4’s are shit (sorry George) but it was nice to see Tank’s Gleaming gold air ridden masterpiece take centre stage. Yes he may have a haircut like a Shogun assassin but a lot of thought had gone into that car. Nice work sideburn Trev. The only VAG usual that I felt was a little disappointing and unsupported was the Corrados. Plenty of them there and all pretty good examples, but nowhere near the standard of the early marks or even the later Boras and Golfs. Yes there was the odd crazy charged VR6 on steroids, but style wise, it takes more than a set of rims to make a show car. Maybe they’re just too god dam good looking as an original car to spoil? Maybe I’m full of shit?
The question of the weekend was clearly ‘tuke or poke’. 11” wide rims poking out fenders shaved to an inch of their life or 12” diameter go-cart rims tucked in to a phat mk2 arch bagged to the floor. Both look sweet on the right car and both make it nye impossible to actually get into the showground with air.
I don’t know, I just don’t get it.. Every show I attend year in year out I still find it hard to believe the scene has anything new to offer. With Edition33 now the firm peoples favorite of the year, it’s clear to see the UK still writes the rules on style, originality and considering our weather, an unbelievable attention to engine bay detailing. ‘Scene’ indeed Darren.
back to Gaz Trev..
Ok soon mid Saturday afternoon, some random mate of Nicks turn up from Australia, as it was apparently only 10 mile down the road and the antics of ‘Skippy’ began. How can you live in Oz for 2 years and sound more Aussie than Harold bishop?
From there we went to move the cars back to camp Port and as previously mentioned poor Trev ripped his bumper off due to the lowness, a self tapper and much help from a size 11 boot later it was all sorted. I just love Mk2’s.. they never die.
We were also looking forward to the arrival of Trev Schwarzenicker aka little nick as we had no one to rip the piss out of, but sadly he didn’t show up so we just continued the party into the early hours where more currywurst was consumed and more bad aussie accent piss takings made the night become morning all too soon.. (I’m so glad the toilets were to the brim with crap) and loads more cooking larger was downed.
The only person left to rip it out of then was Skippy.. “She’s only a friend of mine” says Nick, but as the day/night progressed it was clear she wanted more - could Lewis deliver the goods??? Could he hell, the words she used were ‘Ginger Acorn’ (add fits of laughter). Poor ginger Trev was in Dire Straits as she discovered his drunken shriveled assets, she left the tent highly disappointed.
So its back to planet earth now and I can stop talking about Kenny’s Rally, Greg Howells entourage of paintwork perfection, BBS rimed porkers and all wearing the same number plate?! hhmm.
Dire Straits all round Trev’s, Speak to you all again after Nurby.
GazB/EwanE
Party edit - Gazb
Posh edit - Ewan E
Photography - Ewan E
gazb says:
memories of skippy, hilarious