Newport Edition

Nurburgring 2006

Eight dubs sixteen dubbers and a 1200 mile round trip to the maddest racing circuit in Europe. Check out the Gallery>>

Saturday 7th October 2006, what a perfect day.  It may be 04:30 but the excitement means that I don?t care as I am waiting outside my house for the Team Banana machine to pick me up.

When nick finally arrived we headed on down to Magor to meet the others and there is a massive buzz in the Air.

Everyone has their car done out in the graphics, Guy is handing out the Walkie Talkies and we are ready to hit the road.  Myself & Nick are in the Team Banana Skoda VRs, Phil & Dan are in 1st gear, Velly & Keri are in the Sportline of love, Ewan & Paul in the Track Cab, Ryan & Mike are in the Jet Fighter 1.8T, Jody & Dave were in their awesome 1.8T powered Rallye, Chris & Gary in the Polo GTi and finally the most important car on the trip, Guy & Donna in the MK1, the people that made this trip happen.

We set off on our steady drive and after stopping at what seemed like every services, missing the M25 or going up it the wrong way we finally made it to the Euro Tunnel in one piece, only for the train to be delayed.  On the other side France was a breeze and then I think we were in Belgium when the problems started, over the CB came Velly with ?It?s cutting out all the time?. It eventually turned out to be an ignition switch, which Guy sorted out, problem solved, NOT!!!!! In the process guy had broke his own car, but being the technical boff that he is when it comes to older golf?s he had it running again in no time.

After this all was plain sailing, that was until we got about 20kms away and the road was shut.  Thankfully some yokels took us a different way for a few Euros and 15hours after setting off we were there at the Hotel Nordschleife. Apologising to Eddy (the owner) for being late and him telling us that our food was in the bin we chucked our bags in the room and decided what to do.

The sensible ones went to bed, which is what we all should have done, the nutters, led by Ryan went to the Oktoberfest in the next village.  Total carnage is the only way to describe it, a tent full of about 3000 Germans and us, we stood out like hell.

After a few steins the atmosphere relaxed and we were literally up on the tables with the rest of zee crazy germanzz.  Dan was loving the Unisex bogs, Phil was enjoying being date raped by some random German bird and everyone else enjoyed the party.  The drinking was fun, what followed was even better.

“TAXI” was the shout and along one came. We had just found Phil who by now had lost the use of all legs and was gracing the pavement with his last meal, nice! (he never even got any action for his trouble).  Ryan and a few others got in the first taxi as we carried Phil up the road to find another.  Simple you would think, except one thing, what was the name of that hotel again?  More to the point where was it??  After quite a while trying to track down some transport and drinking more beer we got back, it was 04:30, I was knackered and we all hit the sack.

The following morning (2 hours sleep) we were ready for some track action.  Looking out of the window of our room and seeing the track we were raring to go.  A hotel where the Nurburgring runs past your window.. could us bunch of petrol heads ask for anything better?

The guys that hadn?t been on the lash the night before had been up for hours preparing their cars, not us, not Team Banana; we simply got up got in the car and went.

It was a short drive (10 mins) from our hotel to the track entrance where the vibe was electric.  We parked up, got some tickets and got the hell out there on a lap.  As soon as the barrier lifted it was if Nick became possessed and with clouds of soot & smoke pouring out of the Banana Derv, we were away.

The VRs was to be the surprise of the weekend, shocking a load of people, as nick buried his foot in the floor we left Velly among the clouds of black smoke.  I have never enjoyed myself that much whilst being so scared, Nick was insane and I was pleading with him to slow down, he had never driven on any track before never mind the Ring.  The amount of stuff flying past us was unbelievable and quite nerve racking.  Lambo?s, Ferrari?s, Porsche GT3 RS?s were as common as a Golf in the UK and the bikes were just unbelievably quick.

Whilst holding on for dear life, I kept my eyes on the mirrors and nick concentrated on the Track (after all he had no clue where he was going).  Paul was pushing us along from behind until disaster struck; the cab got stuck in 3rd gear.  At the time me and nick were loving it as we thought we had dusted him, but at the end of the lap the truth was learnt.

We all parked up again after the 13mile hammering the cars had just had, with brakes smoking (or on fire in Phil?s case), tyres melting and the odd hot engine and we began to inspect Paul?s cab.  Paul, Jody and Guy tried everything they knew to try to free it up but with no joy.  We got a few numbers off a few of the locals to try and locate a new box, but as it was Sunday there was not much hope.

In the end after everyone had done another lap, myself included, a little bit more relaxed this time as we overtook bikes and cars, we even overtook a Porsche ? insane, it was decided that the power of the derv would have to tow the sick cabby back to our hotel.  At this point I think I would have probably burnt it or cried, but Paul was so chilled out. ?Don?t worry? he said ?We can always get it towed back? I am sorry Paul but I could not have been that relaxed about the whole thing.

When we got back to the Hotel, Eddy was there to greet us and said he had some food on for us while we proceeded to tell him about the broken gearbox.  The more welcoming news then came that his mate had a breakers that would be open in the morning and he would probably have a gearbox.

The following morning whilst we were all having breakfast, a gearbox was located, not at a cheap price mind.  So 4 hours later after the rest of us had been to the museum for a wander and a bit of Karting the Cab was running again and ready for the track.

When it got to the track Paul did his first lap and said it felt awesome, so everybody was going once again.  The Team banana derv was still flying and we even managed to sneak our resident film crew (in the form of Ewan) in to the car to film a lap.  The best part of this was Ewan happened to be filming when Nick misjudged a chicane and we went bouncing over the grass and kerbs, oops.  No damage was sustained anyway and Nick was straight back out for another Lap. Don’t you just love German engineering!

It was today that I then decided to take my life in to my own hands and go out for a lap with Chris in the Polo and from what Gary had been saying, Chris? driving was awful.  It was a lot slower than Nick?s laps and I did have to watch the mirrors a lot more for Chris, but it was still good to be out there.  Chris?s wheels were rubbing on the arches on most corners, even though I had raised the suspension by about 2? at Calais, it all added to the fun. Nick then took Chris out in the Polo and I then went out with Chris again and he had transformed, he still had no clue about checking his mirrors but the driving was loads better, throwing the car in to the bend rather than slamming on the anchors half way round a bend made me feel a whole lot better.

While we were not on the track, everyone was wandering around the car park, admiring the motors, of which most if not all were awesome.  We even saw Sabine filming for her TV series in a VW camper and if we weren?t wandering round we were mostly drinking Beer (if we weren?t driving) and generally having a dick about and a good laugh.

Not everyone over the weekend was as lucky as us mind, we saw quite a few smash?s.  On the first day there was a Corrado that had been rolled really bad (Check the Gallery) and one of the guys at our hotel had a spin and bumped the front of his car too.  On the second day we saw a Ferrari battered in to the wall, a British one too.

So, anyway on the last night Eddy cooked us another suburb meal, we had a few drinks and off to bed for the early start for the trip back.  04:30 we left for quite a good trip back, apart from the Traffic in Belgium where we must have been stuck for about an hour and a half.  I tried to keep people entertained all the way, although I probably did a few peoples heads in, especially Paul when I made him walk in the toilet on the Euro Tunnel and there was some 90 year old dear with her legs open sat on the bog - lol.

That?s it really then, we all got home safely, Velly broke down again in Blackwood and the trip was over and the downer began. Best part of the weekend was the track time.. The funniest was Paul and the Granny in the toilet (Sorry mate).. followed closely by leaving the track in the Skoda and the worst part was coming home.

If anyone fancies going on this trip, then I can highly recommend it and I am sure I speak for the other 15 people that came with us. 
From the breakdowns, to the track time it was all awesome.  Hotwiring Velly’s car, changing Paul’s gearbox, getting pissed as feck, watching all the German Adult channels (which I am surprised I ain?t mentioned before) it was all top fun and I couldn?t have gone with a better bunch of people.  Thanks again to Donna and Guy for all the effort and hard work they put in to organising this, it is appreciated.

Here?s to next year,

Jagshemash

GazB